Science-Backed Hacks for When You’re Running on Empty (or your 4th cup of coffee☕)
Let’s get real: burnout isn’t just “being tired.” It’s your nervous system waving a white flag after months of parenting + work + grad school = the unholy trinity of exhaustion (I still don’t know what makes me think I can do it lol). As someone currently juggling a toddler, a new semester, and a full-time job (while my ADHD brain screams “ABORT MISSION”), I’ve dug into the psychology research to find actual, evidence-based survival strategies. No toxic positivity here—just real talk and neuroscience-approved hacks.
The 5-Minute Neuro Reset 🧠
(backed by Polyvagal Theory)
The Science: When you’re in burnout, your body is stuck in flight-or-flight mode (thanks, sympathetic nervous system). Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011) shows we can manually trigger our calming parasympathetic system. Try this:
- Humming or Singing loudly for 1 minute or more (vibrations stimulate the vagus nerve, lowering cortisol)
- Cold splashes to face (mammalian dive reflex kicks in to slow heart rate)
- “5-4-3-2-1” Grounding: name 5 things you see, 4 you see, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste
why it works: think cheat code – these tricks signal your brain: “we’re not being chased by a tiger, the toddler is just screaming for more snacks…
The “Tolerable Window” Hack 🪟
(from Trauma Psychology)
The Science: We all have a Window of Tolerance (Siegel, 1999) for stress. Burnout shrinks it to the size of a postage stamp. Try this:
- Identify your “Micro-Triggers” (e.g., email notifications or an eye-rolling tween after screentime ends). for me, it’s dojo notifications
- Pre-emptively reducing them (e.g., no checking emails after 8pm)
why it works: avoiding tiny stressors preserves mental bandwidth for big ones (like an overslept toddler screeching at 4am)
Gamified Task Management 🎮
(Behavioral Psychology Trick)
The Science: Dopamine motivates action (Schultz, 1997). Burnout kills dopamine. Solution? Hijack your reward system! Try this:
- “Quest Log” Your To-Dos:
- Main Quest (1 MUST-do today, top priority, e.g. “pay bill” or “submit assignment”)
- Side Quest (optional, e.g. “laundry” or “dinner”)
- “Loot Drops” (rewards: e.g. “cheat meal” or “30 minutes of Mario Odyssey” after main quest)
- Utilize Habit Stacking: pairing dreaded tasks with dopamine boosts (“after folding laundry, I get to watch 2 episodes of 7 Deadly Sins”)
why it works: your brain thinks “ooh, reward!” instead of “this is unbearable”
The ”Good Enough” Rule 👍
(Clinical Psychology Gold)
The Science: Perfectionism fuels burnout (Curran & Hill, 2019). “Satisficing” (good enough + satisfies) reduces stress. Honestly this took me very long to come to terms, I thought as a supermom, I have to be perfect, but my mental health definitely deteriorates QUICK. Try This:
- Grade Your Tasks:
- A = Must be perfect (thesis draft)
- B = “C’s get degrees” mindset (PTO tasks)
- C = “Existence is effort enough” (folding laundry)
- Do bare minimal for “B Tasks” & Outsource “C Tasks”: Alexa > reading to kids OR take out > home-cooked dinner
why it works: Saving perfection for ONLY what matters to free up mental load
Strategic Self-Compassion 💝
(Neuroscience of Kindness)
The Science: Self-compassion (Neff, 2003) lowers cortisol and increases resilience. Try this:
- Talk to yourself like your best friend:
- Instead of “I’m a total failure” try “this is a brutal level, we’ll respawn and try again”
- “3-minute Self-Compassion break”:
- acknowledge – “this is really hard right now”
- normalize – “other parents in grad school struggle too”
- kindness – “may I be gentle with myself today”
why it works: Shame drains energy and compassion refuels it.
Remember: You Are Not Alone in This Game 👯
If no one has told you today or any day: You are doing an AMAZING job! Whether you are crushing it or barely keeping up, you’re still moving forward – and that COUNTS!
Parenting, working, and studying is DIFFICULT. Some days will feel impossible, but every step you take is progress. Take it 1 day at a time, embrace the chaos, and don’t forget to hit the “pause” button for yourself when needed, learn to say “no” and give yourself some grace.
What’s 1 tiny hack you will try this week? Mine: outsourcing dinner task to my dear teammate 😋
P.S. The cats would like to remind you that napping 22 hours a day is a valid life strategy.
Sources Cited:
- Porges, S. (2011). Polyvagal Theory.
- Nagoski, E. (2019). Burnout.
- Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion.