“I should have been further along by now.”
That thought used to haunt me. Honestly, I used to think by now I’d be a “well-established adult.” A big career. A Pinterest-worthy home. A savings account that doesn’t make me wince. Instead, I have Oreo crumbs in my bed, a toddler in my arms, a tween with an attitude, a newborn attached to my hip, and research articles in my browser tabs.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned: Parenting isn’t a race. It’s an open-world RPG.
There’s no “right” timeline. No “perfect” path. And the most surprising part? My kids have been my best teachers.
🧠 The Truth? My Kids Are My Greatest Teachers
1. Progress Isn’t Linear
- My 12-year-old doesn’t master drumming on the first try.
- My toddler falls a dozen times before walking steadily.
- So why did I expect myself to have it all figured out by 30?
Lesson: Growth happens in spirals, not straight lines.
2. Failure Is Just a Respawn Point
When my toddler spills water, she grabs a towel and tries again (annoyingly).
Meanwhile, I used to beat myself up over every parenting mistake, work setback, or late assignment.
Now? I’m learning to treat failures like checkpoints—not game overs.
3. Multiplayer Mode Is Better Than Solo
I used to think I had to do everything alone — parent, study, work, keep the house running.
But my kids showed me: Asking for help isn’t weakness.
- My husband taking over bedtime so I can study.
- My 12-year-old entertaining her siblings so I can breathe.
- Even my toddler “helping” (read: making chaos) while I cook.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
💪🏻 How I’m “Leveling Up” as a Parent (and Person)
1. Redefining “Success”
- Old Goal: “Be perfectly established by 30.”
- New Goal: “Be present, keep learning, and love fiercely.”
2. Celebrating Micro-Wins
- Finished a paper during naptime? +10 XP.
- Survived a tantrum without yelling? Achievement unlocked.
3. Letting My Kids See Me Struggle (and Try Again)
I used to hide my stress, my doubts, my failures. Now?
- “Mommy’s frustrated with her homework. I’m going to take a break and try again.”
- “I messed up. I’m sorry. Let’s reset.”
Because growth isn’t about being perfect, BUT being real.
🏆 It’s Not a Race, It’s a Co-Op Campaign
I’m competitive by nature. I like checklists, goals, results. But parenting isn’t about winning, it’s about staying in the game. And if I constantly measure my success with external milestones, I’ll never feel like I’ve done “enough.”
What’s shifted for me is this:
I’ve stopped chasing perfection and started leveling up with my kids instead of in spite of them.
They’re growing.
I’m growing.
We’re evolving together—and that counts just as much (if not more) than any degree, title, or curated social media feed.
💬 Final Thoughts: Growth Isn’t Linear, But It’s Worth It
If you’re feeling behind, I see you.
If you’re wondering why you’re not “there” yet, wherever there is, I hear you.
But what if you’re exactly where you need to be? because this is the level that’s teaching you the most?
Parenting isn’t just raising little humans—it’s also raising yourself in the process. It’s healing old wounds. Rewriting scripts. Learning patience, resilience, flexibility, and fierce love.
So maybe I’m not where I imagined I’d be at 31.
But I’m here.
Growing. Learning. Evolving.
And honestly? That’s the biggest win of all.
Discussion: How have your kids taught you to grow? Share your stories below—I’ll cheer you on!**
the picture shows purple seahorse colored by my toddler (left) and “bain-bow” colored by me (right)
