Let’s get one thing straight:
Self-care doesn’t have to be a spa day, a luxury retreat, or an overpriced bubble bath. It doesn’t have to be glamorous or Instagrammable.
Sometimes, it’s hiding in your closet and shutting the door like you’re sealing yourself in a magical portal… just for five sacred minutes.
In a world where we’re constantly bombarded with messages that self-care is all about “treating yourself” by spending crap ton of money, it’s easy to forget the real goal: to care for your mind, your body, and your capacity to keep going — especially as a parent.
As a neurodivergent mom of three (yes, three — including a newborn!), my version of self-care is raw, real, and usually happening between diaper changes and dinner duty. I call it mental hygiene — small, intentional practices that keep my inner world from combusting.
Here’s how I keep myself mentally afloat without needing an escape plan:
🚪 1. Closing the Door (Literally)
Sometimes, I just walk into the bathroom and close the door. No candles. No deep thoughts. Just… door closed and mind shut. It’s a boundary. It’s a reset. And sometimes, that’s enough to feel human again.
😤 2. Screaming into a Pillow
When breathing doesn’t help and my nervous system feels like it’s on fire, I scream into my pillow. It’s not elegant, but it gets the job done. And I swear the pillow understands me.
☕ 3. Smelling My Coffee
I don’t always drink my coffee while it’s hot. (Who does?) But I reheat it, hold it, and smell it — grounding myself in something warm and familiar. That tiny moment is just for me.
💧 4. Hydration and Snack Checks
You know how toddlers turn into mini-demons when they’re hungry? Yeah… so do we. I keep water (or coffee) and snacks around not just for them — but for me, too. A handful of mini kind protein bars has rescued many almost-meltdowns.
🤸♀️ 5. Roughhousing with the Kids
Physical play with my tween and toddler is one of my favorite resets. It burns off my stress, boosts our bond, and somehow makes everyone laugh — even when we’re exhausted. It’s therapy disguised as chaos.
📓 6. Journaling Every Night
Before bed, I journal. Not always deep or poetic. Sometimes just bullet points or messy feelings. It helps me process the day and clear space for tomorrow.
🆘 7. Sending the “Help Me” Look
My spouse knows the look. The SOS eyes. That “if you don’t take over right now I may glitch” look. We’ve been best friends since 2008, and tag-teaming the chaos is how we keep it together.
🧸 8. Looking at My Kids’ Photos
When I feel detached or overwhelmed, I scroll through baby photos and old memories. It reconnects me with my inner child, and how I can protect them like how I wish I could do for my younger self.
🎮 It’s Not a Side Quest, It’s the Main Campaign
Taking care of myself isn’t extra — it’s essential. It keeps me mentally available for the people I love. It helps me model emotional regulation for my kids. It helps me come back from the edge when things get overstimulating and loud and messy and too much.
Mental hygiene is like patching your armor mid-battle.
You don’t wait until the war is over — you do it so you can stay in the fight.
So, fellow players in the parenting game:
Self-care doesn’t need to be expensive. It just needs to matter to you.
Keep healing, keep leveling up — one moment at a time.
Been to Muji Fifth Avenue in Manhattan today and look how cute this is! 📔
