If there’s one thing gaming has taught me, it’s that leveling up takes time, effort, and a lot of grinding. And if there’s one thing parenting has taught me, it’s… pretty much the same thing, but without the ability to log off. 😅
Back in the day, I was a hardcore MapleStory player (where are my 90s people..?). I grinded my way to level 200—back when it was actually difficult (not like today’s fast-leveling version!). No shortcuts, no easy EXP boosts—just endless training, trial and error, and sheer determination. And honestly? Parenting feels the same way.
1. The Tutorial Doesn’t Prepare You for the Real Game
In Maplestory, the early levels were simple: kill snails, collect mesos, don’t die to mushrooms. Parenting’s tutorial? “Here’s a tiny human (yeet). Good luck.”
- Newborn phase = That awkward level where you don’t know the controls yet.
- Toddler phase = Suddenly, the game switches to Dark Souls difficulty.
- Teen phase = The NPCs start talking back in cryptic dialogue options.
Lesson: Just like in gaming, you learn by doing—and yes, you will faceplant into a few slimes along the way 🪜
2. You Can’t Pause, But You Can Respawn
In games, you can always ALT + F4 when things get tough. In parenting?
- Meltdown in the grocery store? No pause button.
- Sick kid at 3 AM? No “skip cutscene.”
- Teen/Tween eye-roll so hard it threatens spacetime? No “mute player” option.
But here’s the thing: Every failure is just XP. Messed up yesterday? Today’s a new respawn 🪦
3. Side Quests Are Mandatory (And Exhausting)
In Maplestory, you could ignore side quests if you just wanted to grind. In parenting?
- “Mom, I need a shoebox diorama by tomorrow.” (At 9pm!? Who decided this?)
- “The cat threw up on the homework.” (Critical hit to your stamina bar.)
Lesson: You don’t get to choose your side quests, but completing them builds unexpected skills (like negotiating with tiny terrorists over vegetable consumption).
4. The Grind is Real, But So Are the Rewards
In Maplestory, you farmed for months just for one rare item. Parenting’s loot drops are different:
- A toddler’s unprompted hugs and “I love you” = Legendary-tier dopamine hit.
- Your tween actually listening? Mythic-grade achievement unlocked.
- Watching them master something new? Better than a +15 weapon.
Truth: The XP doesn’t always show up right away. But every small win stacks 🏆
5. You’re Playing the Long Game
Games have endings. Parenting? This is an MMO with no final boss.
- No “win state,” just constant updates (and occasional bugs).
- No “meta build,” because every kid’s playthrough is different.
- No “cheat codes,” but coffee is basically a mana potion.
Final Boss Thought: You’re not supposed to be perfect. You’re just supposed to keep showing up, keep leveling up, and sometimes, let yourself AFK in a quiet bathroom for five minutes. 😿
Comment Below:
What’s your current “parenting quest” right now?
- Stuck on “Convince Child to Keep Pants on” (Difficulty: Extreme)
- Grinding the “Laundry Dungeon” (Drops: Socks, No Matches)
- Secret Boss: “Sleep Deprivation” (Weakness: Caffeine)
Press Start to Continue.
P.S. If parenting came with a Maplestory-style cash shop, I’d pay real money for “Instant Nap” coupons 💤. And yes, I hope I can sleep like James too, not a single thought in his little brain…
