“I don’t want to be a mom today.”
There. I said it.
Some days, I feel like I deserve a trophy just for not losing it completely.
Yesterday was one of those days.
My 12-year-old slammed her door because I dared to interrupt her mid-game for dinner.
My toddler screamed “MOM!” on loop like a broken sound effect—just to ask me, for the millionth time, to turn on Ms. Rachel.
And my newborn? She was treating me like a 24/7 milk buffet, rejecting all attempts by her other parent to help.
And me?
I was just trying to survive a Zoom meeting with one earbud in, two kids crying in stereo, and my sanity holding on by a double shot espresso latte.
🚨 When You Just Want to Scream into a Pillow
Honestly? I did.
I literally screamed into a pillow.
By bedtime, I was touched out, screamed out, and emotionally fried. So I did something radical:
I rage-quit parenting for a morning. I felt trapped. Touched-out. Mentally tapped out. I was over it.
🛑 I Took a Parenting Time-Out
Not a punishment. Not avoidance. But a mental reset. I kissed my babies goodbye, handed the reins to my husband, and went to the local library. Alone. Just me, my thoughts, and my Sony headphone.
I wandered between shelves without anyone pulling on my shirt. I sipped my coffee when the ice is still fresh, not watered-down. I breathed. And I remembered that I’m allowed to be a whole person too.
🧠 Why Taking a Break Isn’t Selfish (It’s Science)
According to research in developmental psychology and parenting science, parental burnout is real—and dangerous. A 2021 study in Clinical Psychological Science found that chronic parental stress not only affects your well-being but also the emotional health of your kids (Mikolajczak et al., 2021).
Taking a break—whether it’s 10 minutes in the bathroom or a few hours away—helps re-regulate your nervous system, giving you a better chance to respond rather than react. It’s preventive care for your sanity.
🔄 What to Do on Days You Feel Like Quitting
Here’s what I’ve learned to do when everything’s on fire (metaphorically, mostly):
- The 10-Minute Emergency Reset
Do: Lock yourself in the bathroom. Breathe. Splash cold water on your face.
Say: “Mommy’s doing her calm-down game. I’ll be back in 10.” - Trade Off With Your Partner
Our Rule: If one parent hits their limit, the other takes over no questions asked.
Pro Tip: Pre-plan “tap out” signals (“Code Red. I need 30 mins.”). - Schedule Mini-Escapes
- Coffee shop hideouts (my go-to)
- Walks without strollers
- The pantry (if you even have 1 in NYC)
- Local libraries, Target etc.
Key: Tell your kids you’ll be back. Abandonment fears = more clinginess.
❤️ You’re Still a Good Parent (Even When You Need to Tap Out)
If no one’s told you lately: You’re not failing because you have hard days.
You’re human.
Needing space doesn’t mean you don’t love your children. It means you’re taking care of your mental health, so you can continue showing up for them, even after tantrums, screaming, clinginess, and cold dinners.
You’re not alone. I’m with you. In the chaos, in the pillow screams, and in the library aisle breathing like I just finished a boss battle.
Final Thought
Parenthood doesn’t come with a pause button. But you can still press pause for yourself.
And next time someone says “You’re such a supermom,” just smile and know the truth: Even superheroes need a day off.
